39. Night and Day I dream of…


You say, my baby, all this time in between drives me crazy
I want a life on fire, going mad with desire
I don’t wanna survive, I want a wonderful life
(All my sins were born in a kiss on a night like this calling all lonely hearts)
I want a wonderful life

Brian Fallon, A Wonderful Life



Now that we’re back to communicating via screens, I miss those days last summer, so much. I miss the sights and sounds of Jersey. I miss playing with those goofball dogs. I miss the kids explaining the plots of their crazy cartoons to me. Most of all, I miss her.

I have her in front of me every single day, I can look into her eyes, read her every mood, watch the things I say play out in subtle reactions across her face, but I can’t touch that face. When she smiles, I just want to kiss those lips. When she is sad, I want to brush her cheek. When she laughs in that throaty chuckle she has, all I want to do is squeeze her so tightly.

Currently, I can do none of those.

Here’s the thing, though, the physical screen through which we must now view one another is far less isolating than the mental partition that existed between me and every other woman I’ve known. I could touch all of them whenever I wished, but I could never get close enough to any. And none ever really got near me.

This woman has been the one exception in my life. Something in her and something in me acted like a key and a lock from the first moment. Were I asked to define it, I would struggle to do so, but if pushed I would say, there are hidden frequencies to this life; a near infinite number probably.

We all vibrate in accordance with the frequency that is the essential us. I’m not speaking here of our subatomic vibration, I’m talking about the vibration of our consciousness’, of our souls.

Mostly, the people we encounter operate on frequencies that are too differently tuned from our own. We may find them pleasant, fun,  even compatible where certain ‘note’ clusters resonate or perhaps harmonize with our own, but over the longer span, their frequency will  inevitably diverge from our own until we are hopelessly out of tune with them and they with us.

Occasionally, however, we meet someone whose frequency so mirrors our own that it almost creates a sub audible hum, like a beacon. This literally seems to happen at that unconscious level of pure vibration. In such instances, the two frequencies become one and something fundamental unlocks in both parties.

I think I just might be describing the music of life. It may all be happening at a pitch even a dog couldn’t hear, but it is the most beautiful music I’ve ever known, because you let it in, not through the ears, but through your heart.


Image used in this post is mine. Meme author unknown.



3 thoughts on “39. Night and Day I dream of…

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