Monsters

 

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Holding on

 

Ebb and flow

Ebb and flow

Life is never as it was

Tides erase

Time erodes

There are no constants

Even love may fade

And if you don’t tend the garden

The weeds take hold

Trust is the Stone in the river

The candle in the dark

Put your faith in trust

Without that, what is there to hold

The monsters back?

 

 

 

 

Words and image are my own.

 

 

©2016

 

 

 

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Only for sheep

 

“Strange times are these, in which we live, forsooth;
When young and old are taught in Falsehood’s school:–
And the man who dares to tell the truth,
Is called at once a lunatic and fool.”
— George Francis Train

 

I see that some of my readers are prone to a little conspiracy theorising. Don’t worry, I’m not about to take a cheap shot at you here; quite the opposite in fact. All I actually want to say is don’t let others make you feel small simply because you refuse to run with the herd. The Native American peoples understood herd mentality and exploited it mercilessly by getting thousands of bison to run straight off cliffs.

That’s the real danger in any society, people who are too afraid to think for themselves, too willing to go along to get along. And the moment someone proposes that – just maybe – things are not quite as they are presented, it’s always the most fearful, the most herd-minded, among us that want to tear them down and call them crazy.

To call someone a crazy conspiracy theorist simply for suggesting that perhaps the power elite conspires among themselves to ensure that they hang on to that power, reflects the half-baked thought process of an idiot child.

Anyone who has been watching the American Presidential nominations can see that there has been a ridiculous amount of conspiring to subvert the democratic process going on. Anyone but the mainstream media, that is. Their collective and selective blindness is nothing short of staggering.

Watching all this banana republic stuff going on is akin to standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon with the entire international press corps lined up beside you and saying, “man that’s a big hole,” only to have them collectively turn to you and say with one voice, “what hole?”

So kudos to you, the free thinkers out there, you who dare to consider (and write about) the other possibilities; no matter how unsettling they might be. You may get it wrong a lot of the time, but at least you’re asking questions which, after all, is supposed to be one of the sacred duties of an educated and conscientious citizenry.

 

This is almost certainly the last time politics will ever be mentioned on this blog.

 

 

That man is in pain and he’s shouting so loud

There’s a space all around him a space in the crowd

He is holding his head like it’s gonna explode

 

It’s part of a new meaning

From deep in his soul

 

It is only for Sheep

only for sheep, for sheep

Yeah

When you’re awake you’re a sheep

Yeah

 

You show us a new way you sound so sincere

How sweet it must be to be able to think so clear

But you are just another in a long line of fools

Giving us freedom

With a new set of rules

 

It is only for Sheep

only for sheep, for sheep

Yeah

Cos when you’re awake then you’re a sheep

Yeah

 

That man is in pain and he’s shouting so loud

There’s a space all around him a space in the crowd

He is holding his head like it’s gonna explode

 

It’s part of a new meaning

From deep in his soul

 

It is only for sheep

only for sheep, for sheep

Yeah

When you’re awake you’re a sheep

Yeah

 

It’s only it’s only it’s only for sheep

only for sheep, for sheep

Yeah

When you’re awake you’re sheep

 

Lyrics: the  Bureau ©1981

 

Words are my own.

©2016

It’s all too beautiful too

 

I knew I’d end up doing another of these. I just can’t resist the beauty in music.

Continuing on with my ‘Melbourne bands rule’ theme, my first selection will be fall at your feet by Clare Bowditch. Clare hails from here but the song was written by Neil Finn of Crowded House (Finn is, of course, a  New Zealander but Paul Hester and Nick Seymour, his band mates, were Melbourne boys).

You’re hiding from me now
There’s something in the way that you’re talking
Words don’t sound right
But I hear them all moving inside you
Go, I’ll be waiting when you call

Next up is one of my all time favourite tracks what’s going on by the inestimable Marvin Gaye. This song can reduce me to tears, which is a prerequisite for true beauty in my book. Oh, that smooth soul sound.

Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what’s going on
What’s going on
Yeah, what’s going on
Ah, what’s going on

This next track could be the theme song to the movie of Jersey girl’s and my life. Irish child-woman Lisa Hannigan and her gorgeous ditty ocean and a rock have nursed me through many a near breakdown over the past five years.

Thoughts of you warm my bones
I’m on the way, I’m on the phone
Let’s get lost, me and you
An ocean and a rock is nothing to me

Speaking of soundtracks to our story (and Melbourne bands) It’s back to Something for Kate for a song which is just one of the Dempsey compositions that have had me wondering where he hides to spy on our life. Washed out to sea is biographically graphic and anatomically correct in every detail.

Arrival and departures
Yeah, we know them so well
Oh, from sleeping and dreaming
On a baggage carousel
We know every step and every crack
Every scene leading to the final act
Every comic trick circling back, back, back…

I can’t seem to get away from Paul Dempsey today. Here’s a cut off his brand new solo effort Strange Loop. The song’s called True sea (Oceans and seas seem to be a recurring theme in my selections – five out of the ten tracks so far. Ocean = emotion in Jungian symbolism, s0…).

Just get me off of this ocean
Want to move on a true sea
There’s no above or no below, just you
Just you beside me

That’s all I have for you for now. It’s all too beautiful will return…

78. Burn

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Put your feet up on the dashboard
roll down the window
the sudden chronic serenade
from a thousand radios
the sun burning int your eyes
like a blue blindfold
we’re marching on the spot
we’re marching home

Five times, five times I’ve walked through those doors at Philly Airport and into your waiting arms. It’s hard sometimes to believe we’ve even known each other long enough for me to have made that many trips. The truth is, this always feels new to me. To continue to love you more and more each day (as if we were still back at the heady beginning) after so many years and so much time apart is truly miraculous.

In other ways, it feels like we’ve always been together. I honestly can’t remember what it felt like before I had you. I know I was empty in some indefinable way. My life was busy but never really full. You came along and filled up my life, my time, my heart. You made my cup overflow until it became a pyramid of cascading Champaign glasses that still could not contain the all of you.

That unstoppable flood of love might seem intimidating or overwhelming to some people but I want that, require it. And now that I’ve finally found it, it is my entire life.

You are my entire life.

as long as you sit next to me
we can burn
I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth…

That’s why I get on that plane, why I’ve made that long flight five times and would make it five hundred more. You overcame my anxieties about being sealed inside a thin metal tube and fired through the air like some jet-propelled cupid’s arrow. All I needed was you at the other end of the flight to make it all okay.

see all around there’s brains in jars
and engines idling
you think out loud like you’re circling things
in a magazine
but the sound of your voice is enough to rescue me from the fireball at the end of everything

And you do, you make everything okay. Just the sight of you, the sound of your voice is enough to wash me clean of all the pain and fear. Every time we are together again is a new skin moment. We stand before each other and feel that energy crackle across the surface of our beings and know what true inevitability is like.

I will love you forever, follow you to the ends of the Earth, because you showed me who I am and not who I had come to believe I needed to be. You showed me my strength as if it were a bespoke suit, held it up while I shrugged myself into its hand tailored finery. Then you stood me in front of the mirror and said, this is how I see you.

I looked into that reflection’s eyes and saw the father I never knew, the protector, the calm inside the storm, the soothing whisper in the horse’s ear. I saw a man staring back with a steady gaze and a softness that was not ‘weakness’ as I had always supposed. All of this, you showed me.

I’m not sure why it took a soul living on the other side of the ocean to introduce me to myself. All I know is that none of the other women I have held ever did that and whatever damage I carry inside me prevented me from doing it for myself. Only you, in all the world, have this strange power over me.

This is how I know it was always meant to be you. This is why the world could end and it would be okay. We would die knowing we did what we came here to do, became what we were meant to be. There’s still a ways to go, more to discover, to unlock but we are well past the point of lying to ourselves. I can’t express how truly glorious that feels.

as long as you sit next to me
we can burn
I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth
as long as you sit next to me
I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth…

 

 

Words and image are my own. (Lyrics; Paul Dempsey, Something for Kate ©2012).

©2016

Show me some discipline

 

 

Born again

 

Words can be rascals

And like errant children

Have a tendency to get away from us

It takes a firm hand on the pen

To bend them to your will

Or at least knock them into some kind of shape

Given half a chance

They’ll just lie there like a lump on the couch

Shapeless

Inert

They must be coaxed into life

Encouraged to find meaning in this pointless existence

Words are not your friend

They are your crazy lover

And it’s all or nothing with them

Frustration and tears are the writer’s gristle

Shot through with moments of pure adrenaline

It takes the nose of a bird dog to find the beauty sometimes

But when you do

El Dorado lies before you

You regret all those nasty things you said

And fall in love all over again.

 

 

For Tosha Michelle, who knows how to show words who’s boss.

 

 

 

©2016

It’s all too beautiful

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I was listening to Patty Griffin’s divine track When it don’t come easy today and marvelling at the sheer beauty of the song and performance. It inspired me to post my top five  ‘achingly beautiful’ songs. I’m aware this is entirely subjective but it’s just a bit of fun so here they are. Weirdly, three of the bands are from my hometown.

First up is the aforementioned Patty Griffin song. I was struck speechless the first time this track rolled over me.

But if you break down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy

Next is a band I’ve mentioned a lot on this blog, Melbourne outfit, Pony Face with their sublime track Sea and the dunes.

Far from the fishhook smiles
The stepped on tails
My suburbs tears
Mopped up in the aisles
And drips of me are still there

And relative newcomers (also from Melbourne) Husky and their deeply beautiful track Dark sea.

We were once just children
Staring up at the stars
When did we grow old
Brother we’ve come so very far

It’s no secret to regular readers of this blog that both Jersey girl and I love Something for Kate, from (you guessed it) Melbourne. This track, You only hide is a particular favourite.

So I keep watch
And you keep breaking
Breaking formation to become
Someone else
And your eyes become corridors
Where I wander with a candle
Calling out to you

And finally, the Band Fleet Foxes (not from Melbourne but Seattle) are, sadly, now defunct but they left behind this gem, Someone you’d admire.

I walk with others in the yearning to get out
Claw at my skin and gnash their teeth and shout
One of them wants only to be someone you’d admire
One would as soon just throw you on the fire

That’s your lot. I’d be interested to hear what you think. Feel free to post your own favourites in the comments. Remember, the theme is beauty.

Regret

 

 

How I wish we’d met earlier in our lives.

 

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In spaces

 

There are always regrets

 

Yearnings that will never cease

And never be fulfilled

Desires so deep so unexplained

They paint themselves as images

Projected on the back wall of the mind

Arrows shot into the loam of her womb

Tiny nothing growing, emerging, now something

Someone

Warm and wriggling like a pup

Pink little fingers

Grasping at air

Red faced, howling to eat life

The scents of mother’s milk and new born skin

There’s nothing practical in this desire

The anima wants what it wants

The man sighs his regret

Too late.

 

 

 

 

 

©2016