94. Thank you

 

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This week I experienced my first ever Thanksgiving as we got together with my wife’s family over a meal to truly feel thankful for. It reminded me of the Christmases of my childhood when my mother and grandparents were all still with us. And that got me ruminating on all I now have again in my life.

It’s been a strange year with a great many highs and lows. I finally made it to the US after an interminable process that, in turns, made me feel like a criminal one moment and a stateless pariah the next. I have tried and failed to express the deep joy I felt upon finally arriving at her door. I guess some things can only be experienced, not told.

I got to see two Springsteen shows before I left Melbourne and then had the amazing experience of seeing him on his home turf of Asbury Park, New Jersey in the tiny Paramount Theatre. And I got to do it with the love of my life as a very special treat on my first birthday in America.

I also got married this year… twice. The first, smaller, wedding was the legit one but the second with all our friends and my wonderful son in attendance was easily the best day of my life.

On the red side of the leger, we have been dragged through bitter emotional and legal battles by my wife’s ex-husband who has the clinical narcissist’s instinct for perceiving when things are going well in our lives and then casually throwing a huge wrench into the cogs. He seems supremely unconcerned that the chaos he unleashes each time affects his own children far worse than it does anyone else.

We also managed to have not one but two car accidents in the space of ten days just recently, which resulted in our beloved car being totalled. Another wrench to deal with but at least no one was hurt.

Flipping back to the black side, though, Jersey girl has at last found a job where she feels both appreciated and where her many talents are allowed to shine. This has been a wish I’ve had for her for so long now and to see her happy and (most days) eager to go to work is a deep joy to me.

I have also been experiencing a creative spurt over the past few months which has kept me away from this blog more than I’d like but which is also giving me a fresh vim that I hope will carry me towards something wonderful. Early days yet but the ride has been very enjoyable so far.

So, ultimately, it’s been a turbulent year but one mostly made up of things to be grateful for. I’m grateful for my new home, my new wife, my lovely new daughters and my incredible son, the beauty all around me, the wonderful people I’ve met and continue to meet, and the continued opportunity to stay in a creative space.

Oh yes, and Mary’s Thanksgiving dinner.

For all of these things, I give thanks.

 

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Start

 

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Something coming, something going

 

The leaves that caught fire

Now lie in hosts

Every one

Edged sharply in white

 

Frost becomes dew

In the spill of a beam

Morning’s sun

Melting crystal cathedrals

 

The dogs stick their noses

Through the door

And quickly determine

They can wait a little longer

 

I stare into the steam

Of my coffee

And wonder if I’ll ever again

Find something to write about

 

Guess it’s time to go rake those leaves.

 

 

 

Words and image are my own.

 

 

©2017

Take it on Faith

 

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Remembering to forget

 

That deeply satisfying c r u n c h

Biting down on a triple folded chip

A roil of cream

In a freshly made morning coffee

The slap of the cold walking out the door

After a night of red wine and easy laughter

The way the dog’s hind legs go out like taut ropes

When you rub his belly just so

Feeling the down of her nape beneath her hair

When you’re both snug in the bubble

 

Life is that smell when you walk past the bakery

Or that first scent of ocean as you drive to the beach

Cut grass in summer

Silence in a snow-covered wood

Children engrossed in making a drawing

Life is not the long wait for death

Life is forgetting to wait for death.

 

 

 

Words and image are my own.

 

©2017

 

 

 

 

You Look Like Rain

 

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Drops

 

As a child

I believed that clouds

Made rain

The way that sadness

Made tears

It took me a long time

To realise

The clouds were the rain, that

This was how

They came back to Earth

Rain is just

The clouds coming home.

 

 

 

Words and image are my own.

 

©2017